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God's Grace for Divorce:
God's Peace in the Storm.

God has peace and grace for every divorce. In fact, His peace and grace is what causes a divorce in a number of situations. Remember, God's peace will always separate us from that which is unlike God to that which is like God.



Two Types of Peace

There are two types of “peace.” One type of peace is between “God and man” (See Luke 2:13,14) and the other type of peace is between “man and man” (See Matthew 10:32-34, John 14:27). This word peace means “to join,” or “to set at one, again.”7

The peace between man and man is the “...peace the world gives...” (John 14:27). The peace between God and man is from God himself. Jesus gave us His peace so we can be joined to Him. “Peace I leave with you, MY PEACE I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you” (John 14:27). Whenever there is peace between two parties, it causes a joining. Whenever there is strife (enmity) between two parties, it causes a separation. Because peace brings unity, there is a constant battle raging for our soul. The world is battling for us to be joined to its ways, while God is battling for us to be joined to Him. And whomever we chose to join, we by default become separated from the other. The daily question of our lives is, “Will we be at peace with God or the world?”

When it was time for Jesus to come and to be born in the earth, the angels praised God, saying “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth PEACE, good will TOWARD MEN!” (Luke 2:14). Notice this peace was from God, “toward men,” not “between” man and man. The way for God and man to “be at one again” had arrived: Jesus, the Son of God Himself (See Romans 5:1).

The Nature of Peace

Many relationships today do not have peace, mainly because we don’t understand what peace is, whom it’s from, whom it’s for, and what its purpose is. The true understanding of the peace of God is found in the book of Hebrews. Pay particular attention to the word “chastening,” and how it’s used.

"If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, BUT HE FOR OUR PROFIT, THAT WE MAY BE PARTAKERS OF HIS HOLINESS. Now no CHASTENING seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it YIELDS the PEACEABLE FRUIT of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:7-11).

Notice that “chastening” is a SEED of “peace.” Otherwise, how could it “yield” the “peaceable fruit” of righteousness? Everything produces after it’s own kind (See Genesis 1:11). You must have a “peace” tree to produce “peaceable fruit.” And you must have “peace” seeds to grow a “peace” tree. Therefore chastening, which is receiving correction in our lives, is the “seed” of peace. Going through the process of correcting a situation in our life is not always peaceful, but AFTERWARDS, it leads to peace.

We all want peace in our families. But we have misunderstood not WHAT peace is, but rather, WHO peace is and what He’s like. “For HE HIMSELF [Jesus] IS OUR PEACE, WHO HAS MADE BOTH ONE, and has broken down the middle wall of separation” (Ephesians 2:14). To understand God’s peace, we must keep in mind its definition and more importantly, its nature: which is “to join, or set at one again.” It’s incredible to think of peace as something or someone that has an aggressive nature, even to the point of causing the “walls” in our lives that are separating Him from us to be “broken down,” especially if these walls are relationships.

The reason for this aggressive nature of God’s peace is to preserve. God’s peace will do whatever it takes to join us back to Him, but only if we yield. The peace of God is released in us through our relationship with Him.

His peace causes a separation in our lives of what is, and what is not of God. “Now may the God of peace Himself SANCTIFY [SEPARATE] YOU COMPLETELY; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body BE PRESERVED BLAMELESS at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1Thessalonians 5:23). “And [ultimately] the God of peace will crush satan under your feet shortly” (Romans 16:20). The peace of God works in every area of our life to bring us to God.


The Separating Power of Peace

The old cliché “Don’t rock the boat” is used many times to describe “peace.” Even when there is a mutual agreement not to make waves, it is not true peace. True peace always carries with it a separating unto that which is holy, pure or true. When God’s peace comes into a situation where the righteous and unrighteous mix, there will be separating, chastisement or war (See 1Corinthians 7:15, Hebrews 12:7-11, Romans 16:20).

If we do not have peace in our families or homes, it is because we have not allowed peace to “rule” the affairs of our lives (See Colossians 3:15). Peace will lead us out of wrong situations. It will separate us unto the Lord Himself. Most of the time, this process is not what we would call “peaceful.” In fact, sometimes it can become very violent (See Romans 16:20, Colossians 1:20). Most of the time the peace of God upsets the proverbial “apple cart” of our lives. This explains why husbands and wives, and those in close relationships have such a difficult time making decisions that “appear” to cause separation. Hence, THE PATH TO TRUE PEACE IS ALWAYS UNITY AFTER SEPARATION!

To illustrate the meaning of peace “to be set at one, again” in another way, I’m going to speak of two classes of people: the Christian and the non-Christian, those who know and those who do not know the Lord Jesus in a personal way. In fact, God recognizes only two types of people in the world: those who know Him and those who need to.

We tend to socialize with those people who are like us, or those we want to be like. Hence, “birds of a feather do flock together.” That is, we socialize with those who have the same heart motivations, the same attitudes, the same hurts and dysfunctions, the same talents and gifts. This explains why even Christians tend to embrace that which is unlike God. It’s an inward hurt, an unsanctified area of the heart that wants to reunite with its like nature, and be at peace. Because of this, there is a continual battle raging. Before coming to God, we were all part of this fallen world. We didn’t know God personally. We only knew about Him. Because we have been born again and not part of this fallen sinful world, the peace “of the world” is continually pulling us back to itself through the influence of the parts of our heart that have not yet been changed by the power of God. This is called “the old nature” (See John 14:27). This is why there are battles going on in our hearts. Thus, the peace of the world is trying to unify itself at the same time as the peace of God.

Therefore, TO BE AT PEACE, YOU MUST WAR TO SEPARATE. We can see this as “the flesh lusts [puts hard pressure] against the Spirit, and the Spirit [puts hard pressure] against the flesh” (Galatians 5:17). This is why sin feels good for a season (See Hebrews 11:25). It’s because of the peace it brings when it unites with the sinful area of our heart. We can now understand why many people stay in the “comfort zone”; the carnal nature is at peace with those activities. To get to where we are led by the Spirit of God, the peace of God will separate our lives from the carnal ways we live, hence tipping our world up-side down. Nevertheless, by the grace of God, we will ultimately be at peace with God and not the world.

Peace and marriage go hand-in-hand. We can’t have a true marriage without peace (See 1Corinthians 7:15), nor can we have a relationship with God without peace between Him and us (See Ephesians 2:14-18). If we want to be at peace with God and have peace in our family, we must make those tough decisions to allow peace to rule. The Lord never said it was going to be easy, but it will be much better.

There are many critical keys in this book regarding divorce, remarriage, submission, interracial marriage and relationships. Click on Divorce: God's Will? to order.


About the Book | Table of Contents | God Said... | Book Cover

Note: If you have come to this web site looking for christian divorce advice or need marriage or divorce counseling, go to our Marriage And Divorce Sources Of Help page or/and our Book Excerpts pages. We have provided you with a number of very helpful links for marriage and divorce advice, marriage and divorce counseling as well as valuable information for your critical situation.

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2. Divorced Christians Who Married Again Are NOT In Adultery!

3. The Marriage Institution And The Surgery Of Divorce.

4. God Never Said, "I Hate Divorce," But Rather "Putting Away"!

5. It's The Motive Behind Divorce That Makes It Sin.

6. Christian Husband Wife Submission

7. Does God Hate A Bad Marriage?

8. Adultery, Grounds for Divorce? Not Always.

9. Divorce And Remarriage, Staying In A Marriage For The Wrong Reasons.

10. Marriage Abuse, Divorce Grounds

11. Can Divorced Christians Remarry? Absolutely!

12. Biblical Divorce & Biblical Remarriage.

13. Christian Divorce Facts for a Bad Marriage.

14. Breaking Soul Ties Can Save Your Marriage Or Relationship.

15. Pregnant, Child Out of Wedlock And Mistake Pregnancy.

16. A Godly Christian Right to Divorce.

17. Christian Godly Submission In Marriage.

18. Divorce and Remarriage Has ALWAYS Been God's Heart.

19. Verbal Abuse In A Marriage Or Relationship.

20. Widowhood Is Being Single After A Divorce.

21. Failure As Husband - Marriage and Divorce.

22. Marriage and Love Relationship: A Complete Marriage

23. Interracial Marriage Relationships--Intercultural Marriage.

24. God's Peace and Grace for Divorce.

25. Led by the Spirit of God Through a Divorce

26. What "God" Has Joined Together.

27. Let No Man Put Asunder (Pull Apart), But God Can.

28. Misunderstanding of a Marriage Separation Verses a Divorce.

29. Bible Teaching Archives.

30. Free eBook of Divorce: God's Will? Excerpts.

31. Helping a Friend Through a Divorce